by Andy Lovell, Head of Football, Bond University
How do you know when someone is struggling?
They’re turning up every day, doing a great job, putting in the work, and everything seems great.
And when playing days are done and dusted, they can sit back with former teammates and reminisce about their on-field exploits.
But as we’ve seen from the tragic loss of yet another former elite AFL player, Adam Selwood, too often things aren’t great at all.
I can’t even begin to imagine the pain the Selwood family must be experiencing right now. My heart aches for them.
Adam’s death has had a huge impact on me.
I had the privilege of coaching a young Adam Selwood at the West Coast Eagles.
That privilege now extends to almost 100 young athletes across the Bond University AFL program, many of them chasing their own dreams to play at the elite level.
I’m a footy coach, not a psychologist, but after playing 160 or so games in the AFL and coaching hundreds more at elite and community, I know that open, honest conversations about mental health are crucial.
Adam Selwood is the most recent in a line of devastating losses of former elite players. His death comes just months after his twin brother Troy took his own life.
As former Sydney Swans player Tadgh Keneally pointed out during the week, Cameron McCarthy, Shane Tuck, Danny Frawley and Shane Yarran all played at the highest level and all died by suicide. Tadgh, who has spoken openly about the challenges he experienced post-career, thinks we are in the grip of a crisis.
Of course, just one death from suicide is crisis, let alone the number of players we have seen succumb.
And I just wish I knew the answer. We have systems in place, we are talking openly and outwardly about suicide in our society – more than we ever have - but it continues to happen and it’s terribly sad.
Clubs and administrators are doing a lot of work to ensure players, coaches and staff are aware of the challenge that confronts us.
Still, something is going wrong for too many people.
The pressure on young players today is enormous.
The expectations they place on themselves to perform at the maximum level each week are incredibly high, and there is significant external pressure from commentators and the media.
The fear I have is that young players aren’t hearing the messages from those who have gone through dark times post-AFL and made it out the other side.
We’ve seen many role models talk openly and honestly about their mental health struggles and the challenges they’ve faced transitioning out of the game into a meaningful life away from footy.
It’s really important that the players in the game today, as well as AFL’s future stars, have their ears open to the messages these former players are sending.
I’ll certainly be having that conversation with my teams. We already have a culture of open and honest conversations, and we’ve hopefully created an environment where people feel safe to speak up.
We spend a lot of time and energy building genuine relationships and that’s one of the keys to tackling this issue.
Breaking down the barriers of shame, having someone to talk to or turn to if you are struggling and feeling safe to speak up.
It’s also up to us as coaches to be attuned to our players – you need to find the time to chat, check in and see how they are feeling.
In the old days, if the coach wasn’t talking to you, you know it meant you were doing really well. Performance can mask a lot of the internal struggles players have.
Perhaps, too, there needs to be a better understanding across all levels of sport that regardless of ability, sport is not a ‘forever’ career for most of us.
Emphasising the pursuit of a parallel career, of study or a trade, or other personal growth interests outside the bubble of elite sport is a key ingredient of a more rounded kind of success.
Can all those involved in high-performance programs honestly say they prioritise these kinds of things enough?
There’s no doubt that clubs and coaches are getting better at having conversations with players, but there is still a long, long way to go.
Even I don’t always get it right – everyone is time poor and incredibly focused on their own and the team’s performance.
But we have to try and find more time to have these meaningful conversations – they could literally save lives.
You can hear Andy Lovell’s full length interview with Matt Webber on our podcast ‘So You Kid Wants To Play Sport’ HERE.
Don't go it alone. Please reach out for help.
Lifeline: 13 11 14 or lifeline.org.au
Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 or beyondblue.org.au
13YARN: Speak to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander crisis supporter on 13 92 76 or visit 13yarn.org.au